Give love and take it away...

So I haven't updated in a long time and I think that's in due part of me not having the patience nor time to.
In Natalie related news she is now almost 13 months old, walking, talking, and so much independence its astounding.

Dear Mom,

After several days of thinking about our argument I have come to the conclusion the best way to get through to you is in email without any interruption.
Let me begin with the fact that I am so very sorry that you are not able to see Natalie as much as you would like to. It is never my intention to 'keep' her away from you or anyone for that matter. But, I also want to say that Natalie is not Tyler, I understand that Ross was going through hard times when Tyler was first born and they depended on you greatly but I do not need that. Furthermore, You are just as able to drive here to see her as I am to drive down there. If anything you are in a better position then I am.

There are several issues that I would like to address in this email. I would also like you to know that after sending this email I will not be answering your calls, because I know things in here will upset you or get you on the defense.All of the statements in this email are of my own mind and have NOTHING to do with George's thoughts on any situation nor anyone else for that matter. Remember, I love you despite any indifference we may have.

First of all in the issue of myself. You must remember that although I am and will always be your child I am also an adult. Just like every adult in the history of man, I will stumble and make mistakes. I know as a mother you wish to fix all of these errors but they are just that, MY errors. If I make a mistake please do not voice your opinion about it. I'm pretty sure if i do something wrong I already know that I had done something of ill judgement and do not need you nor anyone else's input on the matter. When I was a child we had a completely different relationship and now that I am an adult we need to grow into a new relationship between you as my mother and me as an adult. I do not need codling or to be scolded, I need you to respect me as an ADULT and even if you do not agree with a decision I make do not voice your opinion because I am an ADULT.

Second, in the matter of George. I know in the past I have only voiced how unhappy I had been with actions or situations in reference to george. But after having Natalie I've come to realization that George is my chosen mate. I do not feel forced into this relationship, although I may say that at times. George is the person I now have to look to for guidance or reassurance, he has taken the place as the head of the household in my family. Therefore, when you say something disrespectful about George or his decisions I have come to the conclusion that you in turn are disrespecting not only George, but myself, and my family. George, Natalie, and I are now a family of our own and like I said before I am an adult and I must always do what is best for my family.

Third, in the matter of living in Ann Arbor. George did not pick this location because of how close it was to his mother. While living with both you and George's dad we came to the realization that we liked Ann Arbor. We just so happen to find the best deal of a lifetime in a trailer park that is in close proximity to Martha. I enjoy living in Ann Arbor, it is a safe neighborhood, the schools are good, and it is very close to George and my schools of choice. The fact of the matter is that even if I decided to move to California, Florida, Austria...wherever you must respect that decision. I do no see you flipping out because Ross moved out of Southgate, to the contrary you bragged to me about the house and the new area. George and I mutually decided to move to Ann Arbor, it was OUR decision. I also find it a little disheartening that you keep throwing the fact that George and I lived with you for seven months rent free. When we first moved in if recall you told us that we didn't have to pay rent so that we could save for a new place to stay. I don't appreciate the fact that you purposely make me feel bad for the fact we lived with you while trying to get back on our feet.

Fourth, the way you talk to me is completely unacceptable. I am not a child any longer. You can not berate me or make me feel as though my every decision needs to be passed through you. I understand that I can be a pushover, I even know when people are taking advantage of my kindness, but its just that I am too nice. I will no longer stand for you nor anyone to treat me less then I should be treated. When you stood in front of Martha's house and told me you were going to sue me for Grandparents rights, I could hardly believe that you would stoop so low to hurt me in such a matter. I understand that you were upset and I also understand that you wish to see Natalie more but there are better ways to ask for it then using her against me. Natalie is my child and no one will take that right from me, I will always say who she sees, what she does and where she does it until she is old enough to make those decisions herself. I will not allow you to belittle me any longer.

Finally, I was truly taken aback when you claimed that I had stolen a check from you. I honestly had no reason to lie to you and when you said, 'well I know you have been fibbing a lot to me lately' I just wanted to hang up right there. I felt not only disrespected but embarrassed because you asked me to call you while I was at work and almost everyone could hear my conversation with you. When you text me I assumed something was wrong with Grandpa or someone else, not that you were trying to get me to confess about stealing something. I'll tell you again, I have never receive a check from the insurance company, so clearly it was lost in the mail or they did not send it out.

I understand that you are under a lot of stress with in your life, but who isn't. I would really like us to have a better relationship then the battling one we currently have. I would really like for Natalie have a relationship with not only you but with her Papa and uncles. However if things are not going to change then I will not stand and have my family disrespected. I hope that I have shed some light on why I was so upset on the phone last week and I will call you in a few more days.

I love you.

Your Daughter,
Haley