I love this..

25 Rules for Mothers of Daughters.


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1. Paint her nails. Then let her scratch it off and dirty them up. Teach her to care about her appearance, and then quickly remind her that living and having fun is most important.



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2. Let her put on your makeup, even if it means bright-red-smudged lips and streaked-blue eyes. Let her experiment in her attempts to be like you…then let her be herself.


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3. Let her be wild. She may want to stay home and read books on the couch, or she may want to hop on the back of a motorcycle-gasp. She may be a homebody or a traveler. She may fall in love with the wrong boy, or meet mr. right at age 5. Try to remember that you were her age once. Everyone makes mistakes, let her make her own.
4. Be present. Be there for her at her Kindergarten performances, her dance recitals, her soccer games…her everyday-little-moments. When she looks through the crowds of people, she will be looking for your smile and pride. Show it to her as often as possible.


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5. Encourage her to try on your shoes and play dress-up. If she would rather wear her brother’s superman cape with high heals, allow it. If she wants to wear a tutu or dinosaur costume to the grocery store, why stop her? She needs to decide who she is and be confident in her decision.


6. Teach her to be independent. Show her by example that woman can be strong. Find and follow your own passions. Search for outlets of expression and enjoyment for yourself- not just your husband or children. Define yourself by your own attributes, not by what others expect you to be. Know who you are as a person, and help your daughter find out who she is.



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7. Pick flowers with her. Put them in her hair. There is nothing more beautiful than a girl and a flower.




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8. Let her get messy. Get messy with her, no matter how much it makes you cringe inside. Splash in the puddles, throw snowballs, make mud pies, finger paint the walls: just let it happen. The most wonderful of memories are often the messy ones.

9. Give her good role models- you being one of them. Introduce her to successful woman- friends, co-workers, doctors, astronauts, or authors. Read to her about influential woman- Eleanor Roosevelt, Rosa Parks, Marie Curie. Read her the words of inspirational woman- Jane Austen, Sylvia Plath, Emily Dickinson. She should know that anything is possible.


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10. Show her affection. Daughters will mimic the compassion of their mother. “I love yous” and Eskimo kisses go a long way.

11. Hold her hand. Whether she is 3 years-old in the parking lot or sixteen years old in the mall, hold on to her always- this will teach her to be confident in herself and proud of her family.



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12. Believe in her. It is the moments that she does not believe in herself that she will need you to believe enough for both of you. Whether it is a spelling test in the first grade, a big game or recital, a first date, or the first day of college…remind her of the independent and capable woman you have taught her to be.



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13. Tell her how beautiful she is. Whether it is her first day of Kindergarten, immediately after a soccer game where she is grass-stained and sweaty, or her wedding day. She needs your reminders. She needs your pride. She needs your reassurance. She is only human.
14. Love her father. Teach her to love a good man, like him. One who lets her be herself…she is after all wonderful.


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15. Make forts with boxes and blankets. Help her to find magic in the ordinary, to imagine, to create and to believe in fairy tales. Someday she will make her 5 by 5 dorm-room her home with magic touches and inspiration. And she will fall in love with a boy and believe him to be Prince Charming.

16. Read to her. Read her Dr. Seuss and Eric Carle. But also remember the power of Sylvia Plath and Robert Frost. Show her the beauty of words on a page and let her see you enjoy them. Words can be simply written and simply spoken, yet can harvest so much meaning. Help her to find their meaning.


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17. Teach her how to love- with passion and kisses. Love her passionately. Love her father passionately and her siblings passionately. Express your love. Show her how to love with no restraint. Let her get her heart broken and try again. Let her cry, and gush, giggle and scream. She will love like you love or hate like you hate. So, choose love for both you and her.

18. Encourage her to dance and sing. Dance and sing with her- even if it sounds or looks horrible. Let her wiggle to nursery rhymes. Let her dance on her daddy's feet and spin in your arms. Then later, let her blast noise and headbang in her bedroom with her door shut if she wants. Or karaoke to Tom Petty in the living room if she would rather. Introduce her to the classics- like The Beatles- and listen to her latest favorite- like Taylor Swift. Share the magic of music together, it will bring you closer- or at least create a soundtrack to your life together.



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19. Share secrets together. Communicate. Talk. Talk about anything. Let her tell you about boys, friends, school. Listen. Ask questions. Share dreams, hopes, concerns. She is not only your daughter, you are not only her mother. Be her friend too.

20. Teach her manners. Because sometimes you have to be her mother, not just her friend. The world is a happier place when made up of polite words and smiles.

21. Teach her when to stand-up and when to walk away. Whether she has classmates who tease her because of her glasses, or a boyfriend who tells her she is too fat- let her know she does not have to listen. Make sure she knows how to demand respect- she is worthy of it. It does not mean she has to fight back with fists or words, because sometimes you say more with silence. Also make sure she knows which battles are worth fighting. Remind her that some people can be mean and nasty because of jealousy, or other personal reasons. Help her to understand when to shut her mouth and walk-away. Teach her to be the bigger -the better- person.

22. Let her choose who she loves. Even when you see through the charming boy she thinks he is, let her love him without your disapproving words: she will anyway. When he breaks her heart, be there for her with words of support rather than I told-you-so. Let her mess up again and again until she finds the one. And when she finds the one, tell her.


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23. Mother her. Being a mother—to her—is undoubtedly one of your greatest accomplishments. Share with her the joys of motherhood, so one day she will want to be a mother too. Remind her over and over again with words and kisses that no one will ever love her like you love her. No one can replace or replicate a mother’s love for their children.



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24. Comfort her. Because sometimes you just need your mommy. When she is sick, rub her back, make her soup and cover her in blankets- no matter how old she is. Someday, if she is giving birth to her own child, push her hair out of her face, encourage her, and tell her how beautiful she is. These are the moments she will remember you for. And someday when her husband rubs her back in attempt to comfort her...she may just whisper, "I need my mommy."



25. Be home. When she is sick with a cold or broken heart, she will come to you: welcome her. When she is engaged or pregnant, she will run to you to share her news: embrace her. When she is lost or confused, she will search for you: find her. When she needs advice on boys, schools, friends or an outfit: tell her. She is your daughter and will always need a safe harbor- where she can turn a key to see comforting eyes and a familiar smile.


I love you forever and a day, Natalie Roxanne!

The waters rough, but this love is ours

Gosh, I could just talk about Natalie to anyone who will listen for hours on end. She is my world, the reason for everything that I do in my life. She is so smart, I can already tell that she will have so much success in her life.

Having a child is one of the most beautiful and scary things in the world. They keep you on your toes all while you're jumping up and down cheering them on. I never new absolute bliss until I had Natalie.

I never knew true love until she leaned in to kiss me or hug me, it means everything to me when she gives me that cute little smile of pats my cheek. I can not wait until the day that she can say 'i love you too'.

Go ahead and sell me out and I'll leave your shit bare

Change is never easy.
Change causes arguments, uncertainty, and even war.

I am at war with myself. I am uncertain with myself. Things could be so different if I could take control of every situation I'm in. But instead I stay silent and then get told I'm playing 'the victim'.

I'm tired. No, I'm sick and tired of hurting, of the unknown, of being told I'm something I'm not or vice versa.
Twenty-one and I feel trapped in a forty year old mindset.

I love the people in my life but I've never been unsure of happiness before..

Please understand if I see you again don't even say hello

I'm so tired of always being pushed around. Double standards are literally what is killing all of my relationships. Its perfectly fine for so and so to do this but GOD FORBID if Haley does that. I seriously have to walk on eggshells in almost every aspect of my life.

Once someone learns how easy it is to break me down they use it in every way to their advantage. I can't count the times I put my everything into something, into someone, just to be pushed aside or to be taken advantage of. The crazy thing is, I continue to let people treat me like this repeatedly even after they have hurt me so many times.

I do nothing but love all of the people in my life. I give them absolutely every part of my heart, my soul, my everything and yet I still get repeatedly stomped on. As much as I want them to be happy don't I deserve happiness as well?

It hurts when someone asks something of me and I ask something in return and get pushed aside. I'm tired of crying and groveling when someone isn't happy with something I do.

When is it my turn to not really care what people think? When is it my turn to stomp all over someone's feelings without any remorse? When is it my time to stand up for myself?

Never. And would you like to know why? Because I will always be that person standing in the corner watching other people have fun while i'm doing all of the work. I will always be that person subjected to staying in the bedroom doing some boring task for someone while the rest of the party goes on.

I live to help people and in return I ask for nothing.. maybe I should start.

Lights, Camera, Action!

LIGHTS!


Getting pregnant at nineteen wasn't exactly my ideal plan in life. I'm a very traditional person and I wanted to traditional life scenario. You know, meet the ideal man -> have a world wind relationship -> get engaged -> get married -> have babies, and so on and so forth. Unfortunately that was not exactly how my plan had happened but I wouldn't change anything for the world. 


The moment I told anyone I was pregnant it felt like I was thrust into the spotlight. Everyone wanted to know as much about me as possible and I was the complete center of attention. I mean what woman wouldn't want to be, but still I understood the whole thing was because both families were excited about the impending bundle of joy. 


Being pregnant was absolutely wonderful. I enjoyed feeling my baby move within me and of course being waited on hand and foot. People were always asking me questions about what we were going to name her, what her last name would be, almost everything under the sun! 


I believe the strangest thing was how I was put on a pedestal by almost complete strangers as I was pregnant. I was expected to act a certain way, talk in a certain way, and even dress a certain way. It was a lot of pressure bringing another human being into this world.

CAMERA!

Having my daughter was possibly the most wonderful and nerve wracking thing I have ever done in my life. When people tell you about having children they only tell you all the bad things; how much it will hurt, how tired you will be, and how your life will never be the same. They never tell you that the second you see this tiny, crying, helpless person for the first time that you will fall in love with a complete stranger forever.


After twenty-four hours of laboring and ten minutes of pushing I was holding the most beautiful human being I've ever seen in my life. Even as I held her in my arms with everyone around me crying and emotional, I couldn't believe this tiny person was mine. I would love her until my dying breath.


After coming home for the first few days, I felt like everyone was watching me on the television. You know, people are watching you and wanting to say something but the characters on the television won't hear you so you keep your mouth shut. I was a new mom, terrified, and it seemed like every time I did something that anyone wouldn't actually do I could feel them tense.


I was being watched and I felt an immense pressure because any wrong move could ruin this baby's life and it scared me more then anything in the world.


When you become a mother you start to live for another person instead of yourself.

ACTION!

With my daughter now edging closer and closer to be a year old I feel like I can finally breath. I have grown into a mother that I want to be. I have found things that work for both of us and I can tell she truly loves me. She is the light of my life and I can't even remember a time without her, even now just writing that makes me feel so emotional.

Growing as a mother and spouse has become one of the biggest challenges I have come to face. It is hard to find a balance between my daughter, my boyfriend, and myself. I've always been a people pleaser and now that I am on my own it has become increasing difficult to find a balance in my life.

I know that since having my daughter I have found myself neglecting me. I forget to shower, I always have my hair up, I have gained weight, have no sex drive, and have become an introvert. I now know that it is time for action. My goal is to become more active not only for myself but for both my daughter and my husband.

They both need me, if something were to happen to me I would fear for the both of them. I'm not necessarily saying that my husband is a bad father, quite the contrary I have seen him grow into such a loving an wonderful dad, it makes me love him all the more. But I would never want anyone else to take over my job and wife and mother.

My family, 

George, Natalie, & Haley are the most important people in my life...and always will be.

All the love's still there I just don't know what to do with it now

Thursday I left with Kyleigh, Gabriel, and her mom to go see Mayday Parade. The eight hour drive up there went off without a hitch. I had so much fun talking with Kyleigh and just driving and having a good time. The concert was absolutely amazing, unlike anything I've been to before. There was ton of pushing, dancing and we finally made it to the front of the stage. We were literally feet away from the band, it was so exciting!

When the concert was over we all got a hotel room and slept with the agreement to leave early in the morning. The trip back was the RIDE FROM HELL. Anything that could possibly go wrong did go wrong. I started driving since Kyleigh and her mom were so tired from the night before. I hit black ice and accidentally hit a One Way sign. Then a few hours later another patch and we completely spun out having to be towed out. The snow was coming down so incredibly bad that I genuinely was scared. 

Thankfully the closer we were to home the less snow there was. Unfortunately we also ran out of gas so had to wait for another tow truck to bring us gas. It was a long drive home but it was definitely something that I will never forget. 

Coming home both of us were having trouble with the men in our lives, George was ignoring me and Nick (Ky's boyfriend) was just being a jerk. I felt bad for her because her relationship reminds me similarly of my own, only she seems to think that she has no authority in her relationship. I hope that she soon realizes that she is just as important if not more then him within there relationship and if she is unhappy she can ALWAYS get out. I'm lucky enough to have more good days then bad with George. 

Anyways, finally getting home was great and I got to wash the 80lbs of sweat off of me from the concert. I missed Natalie-Bean so much. She is now refusing baby food and freely standing on her own. In fact, I cried when I seen her.  

Well that is the basic synopsis of my trip....fun but a long one. I missed Natalie and George but it was a good time as well.

My heart, My soul

My first blog post, I guess a good therapeutic tool.
After reading a friend's blog I have come to the realization that I keep so many things pent up within my life and I do not have an outlet in any shape or form. I do know that writing is something that has always been a way for me to get my feelings across, even if the person who is reading it doesn't understand what I'm saying.

A little information about myself.
My name is Haley and I am twenty-one years old. I have the brightest, most beautiful, and energetic nine month old ever. Natalie is my heart, my soul, and my world. I live in Michigan, unfortunately not for too much longer. I have a boyfriend of five years in August and we have a german shepard/golden retriever mix named Kanye. I'm going to school to become and elementary teacher, third grade to be more specific. I'm on a temporary hiatus from school however =/

Welp thats about all I could come up with for this first time blond entry.

Until next time,
Haley